Over and out (rebirth)

Brief: how to get the f**k over it, in response to Daphne Kapsali’s recent call for wisdom nuggets. Almost a year ago, my girlfriend drank three pints then dumped me out of the blue, stating ‘this is boring’ and refusing to talk about it.  One half of me: NO, HOW CAN THIS BE?  The other: […]

Shrouded by the light

She’s been living inside my head and bones for years now.  I talk about lesbians and backbone, but mine has been hers all along!  I have been leaning on her since summer 2013 and I need her to GO. ‘What would K do?’ ‘Channel her.’ ‘I need some K.’ ‘She brings me back to myself.’ […]

Parce que

Because when I was about 10 I was called a tomboy and told to take more care over my appearance.  Through obedient tears I brushed my hair, plucking the stray ones from an already hairy batwing hand-me-down.  Could happen to anyone… Because when I was 13 I started to have sexual thoughts, only about women. […]

Clean Lines

I see our ghosts here Standing under the cavernous ceiling of this huge room; Brown wood Panels Blocks… That’s the spot, right there. Your piercing eyes, sweat, swirling spiral stairs, Your breath; you smelt of something for just one flash! She’s going to fall, it looks precarious there – Grabbed arse, not mine for a change. […]

Seething; soothing

Full and moving, jumbling thoughts only ever heard by me Must blurt, spill on page, give voice! Breathless hope in the tones of others gayer than me push for release… I think I can, I know I can… Imagine…the words…laid out, daubed, splashed…for others.  Recognition completely. Intimacy finally… Iron brain ponders this then forbids; Portcullis […]

Is there anybody there? #2 Little One

Little Miss Young lady Pretty little thing Sexy little thing Bad girl Any combination of the above, she answers to all. Is this attraction?  Fuck, I have been missing out my whole life. Is it called chemistry because it burns you?  You have to be careful with chemical sets. So this one, Little One, 23 […]

Is there anybody there? #1

The first in a series of homages to my loves past, present and future… I haven’t felt all that sad since D and I broke up two months ago.  A few tears, some low-level bleakness; nothing heart-rending.  Is it coming?  I want to make it come, if it’s there. Come out cowardly grief, if you […]