Heartbroken

Overthinking.

People tell you not to do it.

I know I do it a lot.

I know my brain can’t come to any rock-solid conclusion based on half-baked facts.

And yet, it tries.

And yet, I try.

I importune the I Ching with a myriad of questions it answers but I am never satisfied with the answer.

I have my answer…as much as I’m going to get at the moment.

I’m just finding it hard to accept.

I thought I was a master accepter, when life was easy.  Past heartbreaks seem like mere irritations compared to this one.

I can’t help but hold on to hope.

In one of my favourite novels, I was attracted to the fact that the heroine’s instinct was wrong.  I thought it was cool and edgy and realistic and unromantic.  Like life.

Yet here am I with a wrong instinct and it ain’t so much fun when it’s me.

I’m waiting for her to rescue me.

I’ll be waiting a long time.

I can’t eat.  I’m getting skinny.  When you’re hungry yet you have no appetite…how does that even work?

I just ate.  Jumped on the bandwagon of a flash of appetite.

Give it time.

 

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