Adios my sweet

A moment of clarity while rooted to my desk, to my screen, to my endless thoughts. My brain wanted to know what was right and what was wrong and fuck if I ever need to remember to trust myself! Was I right was I right not to fight for her? Is it enough to miss […]

Femme perdue

I can’t write. I am writing. Where do I start? I strive for the higher plane of the lessons of my split and split I am indeed Between the intense joy of life and freedom and the everyday missing her I think I know what love can be and we didn’t have enough Not to […]

What a Shame…

I don’t know what is wrong with me and I don’t know what to write. I know I have to write.  Something is seething in me and it needs ejecting… What? Why am I a prude?  Some woman I don’t even know sharing vivid details of her sex life on an internet forum that is […]

The Parasitic Gift

This is my first post in a long time.  I guess, I’m happy to say, I’ve just been living well 🙂 Since coming out as a lesbian over the last year or so, life shines brighter and I dig more deeply than ever.  I find gold I never knew was there.  I enjoy the simple […]

Second Adolescence

‘You can’t get innocent twice.’  ‘You can.’ Quote from: Juliette Binoche and Kristen Stewart: Clouds of Sils Maria From what I’ve read of other women’s later life lesbian realisations, I’ve heard a lot of the ‘second adolescence’.  I have this; I know this; I am living this. What is it? It’s being a kid in a […]

Alchemy

It wasn’t her. She didn’t inspire me to be a lesbian. She didn’t turn me into a lesbian. She didn’t encourage me to be a lesbian. She didn’t make me a lesbian. I was a lesbian already. I recognised her gayness when I didn’t even consciously know what I was recognising. She did no damn […]

Little Miss Know-it-all

My meditation teacher gave the analogy tonight of going half way up a mountain, taking in the view and thinking that means you know what it’s like at the top. Remember that Spin Doctors song from the early 90s?  Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong.  I was a young teen at the time and I can […]