It wasn’t her. She didn’t inspire me to be a lesbian. She didn’t turn me into a lesbian. She didn’t encourage me to be a lesbian. She didn’t make me a lesbian. I was a lesbian already. I recognised her gayness when I didn’t even consciously know what I was recognising. She did no damn […]

Little Miss Know-it-all

My meditation teacher gave the analogy tonight of going half way up a mountain, taking in the view and thinking that means you know what it’s like at the top. Remember that Spin Doctors song from the early 90s?  Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong.  I was a young teen at the time and I can […]

The Big L

LEARNING! What else? I’ve been struggling these past few days, about this girl who’s in my life.  The one I fell in love with last year, not the one I slept with.  No no, the one I fell in love with hasn’t let me lay a finger on her.  She said she only sees me […]


I have been reflecting deeply on the meaning of ‘assume’ over the past few months.  In French ‘assumer’ translates as ‘take responsibility’ or more colourfully: ‘own your shit’.  In English we do have ‘assume responsibility’ and ‘assume the position’, yet ‘assume’ on its own generally means ‘take something to be true without knowing the full […]

Androgyny got me

My first girl had a pure gold ring on a lip that is not on her face. She wore only one earring on one ear, as if she could somehow have known that I find that Bowie-style wolfishness sexy beyond scale. We had our first kiss to Bowie’s Lady Grinning Soul…sung by a woman. I […]

Pandora’s Box

I wrote this on the 19th August this year.  Happy to say I’ve moved on somewhat…even if it still gets to me at times.   other people’s art pandora’s box can of worms won’t go back in memories of past obsessions they take me ils me prennent elle me prend why? why me? why her? […]


I fell so hard. I feel like I’ve fallen five times and I keep making myself fall because in some ways I like the taste. I can’t any more. I never saw this coming.  You, into my life. You’re right, I am uncomfortable.  I know that makes you uncomfortable.  I’m fine with liking girls.  I’m […]